Brrrrr.......it is so white and crispy outside! MY breath is smokin. It was such a shocking wake up when I walked out of the nice toasty hospital into the negative whatever the windchill was this morning. And it's going to be 7 degrees friday! The cats will become even furrier. :o) The poofball will get even poofier.
I'm trying to decide between going to bed for a few hours of just staying up and going to bed super early. This coffee may decide for me. Last night was a pretty descent night at work. No one died- well, actually one did, but they were planning on it.......lol. No code blue or anything. No one threatened to sue, no one got angry and smarted off.......no one fell out of the bed or pulled out any tubes. ugh, I hate my job. I'm pretty much stuck with it though......it seems that there is nothing else to do these days. Unless I'd like to go to McDonalds.
Lee is gone to his math class....... he thinks he is so cool. When he starts making more money than me, then I'll think he is cool too. :o) This crazy way of life that everyone lives is so not natural. I really feel that need to be at home doing houshold things..the woman's work. I WANT to take care of my home and my 2 person family- unless you count cats. Then it's a family of about 9 . I hate having to play catch up all the time. when I'm off- catch up on laundry, catch up on bill paying, catch up on groceries, catch up on CLEANING. Cook a real meal. I used to like cooking ........now most of the time I'd rather just put a pizza in the oven. I want to want to cook. IT is really a female instinct to want to take care of there little spot on the earth. And cook and clean and make it pretty....... I think only in the new world will we know how really unhappy we are now. WE just really don't even know how miserable we are. It has just slowly become our way of living. Just one thing at a time gets stacked on our shoulders and we don't notice how uncomfortable we really are. One day it will all be lifted and we will be like........PHew! Man, I feel good! I forgot that I could feel better. WE are being programmed to think that we must be doing something at all times. No time for rest. Rest is for lazy people. Lee layed down and took a nap the other day, and I layed down with him. I probably layed there for 3 minutes before I was looking at the wall, and the clock feeling guilty for taking a nap because There were some dirty forks and spoons in the sink, and there was laundry sitting in the dryer....etc. I was TIRED......who is going to care if I take a nap??? No one....... but we must have our house looking like the one on the mr clean commercial at all times. I don't want to feel like don't have the right to take a nap. The dishes aren't going anywhere, they will wait for me to wake up.....
I don't think my job helps matters. I spend hours and hours making people feel better, answering there every request, listening to complain complain complain.........when I come home......I 'd like to have my own little call light to push and request and be the one complaining. Fluff my pillow......I need 2 more blankets. MY water isn't cold enough. MY head hurts. My light nees turned off. MY back needs a pillow under it. The temperature in here isn't right. The curtain needs to be closed better. MY phone needs to be closer to me. What took you so long?
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. now multiply that times 12. I think about how we are told to do personal study...it's like filling our tank up again. We go out and teach and give of ourselves and we have to do our own personal study to build ourselves back up...........well I think that is true when it comes to just our selves as a whole......our energy. I run myself ragged giving people whatever they want. And trying to keep them satisfied, well I run out of energy and caring, and compassion and sympathy. Sometimes I just want to say......' oh shut up you big winey baby '.
I don't know how people are nurses for 25 and 35 years. I would go bald.